Friday, May 10, 2013

Picking up where we last left off…

Life goes on like a sinusoidal wave. Soon after my last post, things kept changing suddenly giving little time for me to keep pace.

A lovely start to the Tamil New year…. but alas, short-lived joy. After a week full of unknowingly the last time for many good things shared with her, a life changing incident brought her to the dingy indoors of a hospital. Thereafter 2 months of ceaseless pain and agony. Two months of togetherness, but hardly. Two months of service, but to no avail. Two months…. and I lost the most important person of my life.

Another two months pass, and even while I am trying to gather myself from the grief, the news of a brewing baby in my tummy. What an irony, like she left the vacancy for me to get the seat…. Motherhood.

Come the next Tamil New year, we impatiently awaited the arrival of our child. He was born; a tender, innocent bundle of joy - Akash.

The next few months zapped past amidst poop filled diapers, wet cloth nappies, lullabies and silent conversations with my little one over feeds. Time flew as I looked forward to each development and every new action was a milestone reached. From staring at eternity, to the social smile, to kicking around, to the motor sounds, the first flip, the toothless grin, the first inch forward, the jabber, the sitting, the first pearly white, the standing and most recently, the first step ahead.. I kept ticking them off the list.

In between of so much, the initiation to the day care happened. And of course, my return to work.

After months of late nights shuttling between the baby and work, work finally slowed down. With A turning one, the night feeds stopped allowing me night-full sleep after more than a year.

The usual chores keep the days busy but the rage is over. Life is back to the schedules with mornings packed with cooking, dropping A at daycare and getting set for office. Evenings are well-spent playing with A and preparing for the next days. The time is come again when I have time for myself, time for the blog, time…

Is this the calm after the storm? Or before?