Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Solace at last

Last Monday I had a client interview which I got to know the previous Thursday. Everything happened like it usually does before an exam – I was nervous, I ate a lot while pouring my head over the books, no washing/cleaning, the smile from my face lost somewhere. In short - I quit living for the next three days. It took the whole of Thursday for me to decide what all I needed to study. By Friday morning, I had collected all the study material I was going to spend the next two day reading.

Through Friday, all I did at work was read, read and read. How much was I able to cram? -Nothing. Did I tell you I was too nervous to understand what I was reading?

I though I’d sleep early that night and resume cramming after I wake up fresh in the morning. But, I should have known myself better. No question of being fresh when all I did was watch nightmare after nightmare all through the night. The alarm went off at 5 and I was out of bed and with my books again.

Through Saturday I was hand-delivered all my meals by Hubs while all I did was study. By the end of Sunday and I was all tired of this study-study schedule. The house had stopped looking my own with things strewn all over the place. The sink was overflowing and the pile of unwashed clothes had starting competing with the Himalayas.

I was going back to bed this time more worried about my nightmares than my interview tomorrow. I knew exactly what was going to happen then. After repetitive visits to the washroom, I would finally end up at the meeting room. My hands would be cold and my mind, numb. My voice would shiver; my brain would reject every word closely related to a question. ‘I don’t know’ would be my favourite sentence for the next half hour and I would never dare attempt to relate the question with anything I have seen in the past.

With thoughts about tomorrow zooming through my head, I tried every way to calm myself down. Hubs was for no reason acting weird today. He wanted me to narrate a story – ‘our famous Girl Boy story’ which started at Masinagudi. A little irritated about his un-understanding behaviour, I started the tale. As I went on with it, I got further and further drawn into it. Off and on he kept reminding me of little particulars here and there. I sometimes accepted, sometimes objected, sometimes clarified, sometimes defended and hereby went on, and on… until I fell asleep. Next morning, I had been well-rested and refresh. I realized why he had been so stubborn on me narrating the story. It had worked!

The interview happened. Yes, I was sh*t nervous. My mind skipped many questions but managed to grasp some. However, I managed to clear it.

^^ our famous girl boy story is the story of how we met on a life-changing trip to Masinagudi and the proceedings of the outing.

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